My child says some of the most ridiculous things. I often post them on facebook, but have been saving some of the best to share at once. Here are my favorites from this week:

A: What is this on my butt?
M: A scratch
A: Oh, I thought someone glued a long red hair to my butt cheek.

The wipes feel phenomical (phenomenal) on my tush.

Why do they call them booby traps? It sounds like boobies. Boobies is a funny word… …boobies…. -laugh-

A: Why are you crying?
M: Because I just love you so much.
A: Okay. Girls are so weird.

A: What does deadifying mean?
M: Huh?
A: Like in Harry Potter when he deadifies them.
M: Oh, petrified?
A: Yeah
M: It’s like he freezes them.
A: Ohhhhh. Wait. How do they go poop if they’re frozen?

A: Can I tell you a joke?
M: Sure
A: What happened when the chicken crossed the road?
M: What
A: He got squished by a car.

[Dad starts eating a bag of jalapeño chips in the car]
A: Is that smell food? Or a fart?

A: -indecipherable whining-
M: Sorry, I don’t speak whinese.
A: MOM. THAT IS NOT A THING. STOP.

Little Girl at Museum: I have one mommy who stays home with me all the time and another mommy who goes to work.
Aiden: Well my dad has two dads and my Uncle has a husband. So that seems normal to me.

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