Aiden is FOUR!

August 1, 2014 taylorleighmcgovernLeave a comment

Here are some photos from Aiden’s birthday party last weekend. Lego-themed, obviously. If you’re on instagram, search the #aidenisFOUR hashtag to see more photos! Really though, you should be following me by now anyway. (Click here to do so.)

Goody bags! I cut circles from cardstock and used glue-dots to stick them on. 120 circles. ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY. That’s not including the banner circles.

Lego cookies! Ignore the Christmas tray. It didn’t keep the icing from melting once we arrived at the park. 😉 Still yummy!

Cake! Pain in the butt, and the icing also kept melting, but Aiden loved it. So that’s what mattered the most.Banner was cut up cardstock with glued-on circles. Similar to the goody bags. Not pictured: Tray of rainbow fruit-kabobs. Not sure how I forgot to take a photo, but I made them! I have witnesses! Lego-utensil holder! Pinterest is full of deception over how “easy” it is to make this shape out of legos. It took me a while. Not going to lie.
Cupcakes! There were also blue ones. Aiden has since eaten the leftovers.Just another shot of the setup! You can see the blue cupcakes and pre-melted cookies in this one.On the outer deck, I hung a rainbow backdrop, and set up a “photobooth” for the kiddos. I’d say it was successful. (It was just different colored tablecloths pinned up and I found the prop set at Walmart for about $4.)Doesn’t even need a caption!Finally, the party itself was at a boathouse by the lake here where we live. Ducks galore! I made little ziplock baggies filled with bread pieces so all the kids could feed the ducks at the end of the party. It was a hit!I guess if he HAD to turn four, at least it seemed to be a good one! 🙂

Now, bring on Autumn. Please and thank you!

PS. Go like NJATM on Facebook. Teaming up for a giveaway once it hits 500 likes! Click here to go ‘like’ it! 🙂

broken.

July 17, 2014January 18, 2015 taylorleighmcgovern3 Comments

So, I’m in Tennessee this week with our church’s youth group. I’m surrounded by hundreds of the most amazing students and leaders I’ve ever met at this event called HSC. (High School Camp)

Before Monday, I knew maybe three of the two hundred people from our church alone. Those who know me, know that something like this is WAYYYYY out of my comfort zone. I hate being uncomfortable and feel awkward around people I don’t know. The last few weeks I’ve been filled with anxiety while planning and praying for this trip. I’ve been asking God to please explain to me HOW IN THE WORLD he wants me to lead these girls when I’m so lost and broken myself?

I say that I’m broken. Who isn’t? Who DOESN’T have some sort of “brokenness” in their lives?

God uses our brokenness, our faults, our imperfections, and our fears to tell His epic story just like He uses our victories.

Maybe broken isn’t the word. I’m not sure. All I know is that with all of the stupid mistakes I’ve made in my life, I wasn’t confident coming into this week that I was the type of influence these girls so desperately needed.

The first night, I figured out why I’m here. The kids were instructed to take the biggest lies that the world has taught them to believe about themselves and write it on the bottom of their shoes. This way they could walk around on them the rest of the week. The lies they came up with instantly brought me back to myself ten years ago.

Ugly. Fat. Freak. Slutty. Different. Misunderstood. Useless. Stupid. Weird.

The list went on.

These girls are me. We are the same. Ten years later and I STILL struggle with these same insecurities. THIS is why God made everything line up perfectly so I could be able to be here. I was here to show these girls that God is so much bigger than their insecurities.

I could feel my heart breaking as they were listing off these insecurities without pause. Why is it that we as human beings are so full of negativity and judgment that we can cause a young girl to hate herself and be so insecure before she has even started high school?

In that moment, I realized that I’m not as broken as I tend to believe I am. One of my girls suggested that we make a list comparing how we sometimes view ourselves and how God sees us. This is what they came up with:

Think before you open your mouth to call that quiet girl beside you a “weirdo.” Maybe she’s just too shy to make friends. Pause before joking about that “fat” or “ugly” girl, your words will follow her for many, many years. That “freak” you commented under your breath about? She’s beginning to believe that being different is a bad thing instead of believing that she’s fearfully and wonderfully made to be unique by her Creator.

My girls are about to enter their first year of high school, so I’ll leave you with what I left them with after our small group discussion tonight:

“I will show up and take care of you as I promised. I know what I am doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” Jeremiah 29:11 (MSG)

15 Things to Never Say to a Young Mom.

April 24, 2014September 6, 2024 taylorleighmcgovern14 Comments

It’s no secret that I’m a young mom.

I’m always the youngest mom in the playgroup, youngest mom at the preschool, and the youngest of pretty much all of the mom-friends I’ve made since moving here. Now that I have a ring on my finger most assume that I’m older, and many are shocked when I tell them I’m just twenty-three. I can see them doing the mental math looking between my almost four year old and myself, and when they finish that math I can see the “ohhhhh” look spread across their faces as they realize how young I am now and how young I was when I had Aiden. Usually, they just brush it off or rapidly change the subject. Every once in a while, they say what they really think and it’s often pretty dang hurtful.

I’ve made a list of my “favorite” things that people have said to me in the over four years since I got pregnant with Aiden. Yes, these were actually said by REAL PEOPLE to ME!

1) Was he PLANNED? (Yes. By the Universe.)

2) Do you know who the Father is? (Apparently being a young mom makes me a slut by default. I usually respond with, “well I have it narrowed down to three.” -Sorry Mom-)

3) Wow, your life ended before it really began. (Yeah, it’s hard sometimes, but I get to play with toys, go to playgrounds, and have an excuse to eat ice cream everyday. Not to mention, when he’s eighteen, I’ll be thirty-seven. Boom.)

4) There are much easier ways to “play house.” (So, first it was so hard, and now I’m just “playing house?”)

5) You’re just another statistic. (Don’t even have words for this one.)

6) Why didn’t you just get an abortion? (Why don’t you just get a lobotomy.)

7) Should have kept your knees together. (And you should keep your lips together.)

8) You’re such a great big sister to take your little brother everywhere! (I still get this one now, at 23. This week actually! Thanks to that lady for inspiring this post!)

9) Of course you’re stressed, you deserve it after the choices you’ve made. (……)

10) No one will ever marry a girl with this much BAGGAGE. (Whoops, guess someone missed that memo.)

11) It must be nice to just live off of child support. (HAH.)

12) Guess you can audition for Teen Mom now. (No thanks.)

13) I’m sure your Mom will do most of the work for you. (LOL.)

14) Girls like you are why our economy is failing. (I can see the headlines now: TEEN MOMS SINGLEHANDEDLY BRING DOWN THE U.S. ECONOMY.)

and last but not least…

15) You’re just setting your child up for a lifetime full of failure. There is no way you can provide everything he needs by yourself. You’re just a kid.

Why is it that in a country where teen pregnancy is so common, people tear these girls down instead of building them up? The odds and statistics are already stacked against them, so why make them feel worse? For me, my biggest motivation was when someone would tell me that I couldn’t do it. Not everyone reacts that way though.

Yes, some of them “brought it on themselves” because they wanted to “make him stay,” or audition for 16 & Pregnant. But more often than not, pregnancies at this age are an accident. Caused by failing birth control, breaking condoms, or a lack of KNOWLEDGE about birth control options. I don’t see anyone personally attacking the schools for not providing sex ed courses, or the parents of the girl for not having open communication with their daughter, or maybe the father of the child for being too embarrassed to buy condoms. My point is…

THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK.

That girl that you are about to share your opinion with? She’s going to have it hard enough without you sharing your two cents with her, so if you don’t have something nice to say, do everyone a favor and shut your mouth.

My PSA moment: TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT SEX AND BIRTH CONTROL. Chances are, they’re going to “do it” whether YOU are ready or not. But make sure that THEY are. Check out http://thenationalcampaign.org/ for some information about talking to your kids. The National Day to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancies is May 7th!

Are you or were you a young mom? What was the most unbelievable comment you received from a friend, family member, or a stranger?

A Letter to My Little Boy.

April 14, 2014July 1, 2014 taylorleighmcgovern6 Comments

April 14, 2014

Dear Aiden,

You’re only three. You can neither read nor understand this letter at this point, but one day you will.

The night that I learned you would be coming into my life was the single most amazing, yet terrifying night of my life. I would be lying to you if I said it has been easy since then. But every moment has been 100% worth it.

The minute I first saw you growing inside my belly, and saw your heart beating, I fell head over heels in love. I loved you more than anyone or anything else in this entire world, and I hadn’t even looked into your eyes yet. You were my son, and I was your Mommy.

The moment you were born, I held my own breath as I waited to hear your first. You let out that cry, and I cried with you. Tears of joy because you were mine.

Fast forward a few months, and you were growing into this beautiful little human being. I still couldn’t believe that you came from me. You were already so handsome, and so incredibly smart. I loved you with my whole heart.

When you were almost six months old, my life was turned upside down when your father and I separated, he moved out, and it became just you and me. I was twenty years old and scared to death that I would never be able to provide everything you needed. I wanted to give you the world, but could barely afford your diapers. How we made it to this point, I’ll never know. I believe that everything that happens, happens for a reason, and I make sure to tell you this all the time.

Fast forward a few more years. Now you’re three years old. Almost four. I thank God every single day for giving you to me. You make my heart so happy. You are still so incredibly brilliant. You are so independent too, which secretly breaks my heart because you never want my help with anything. You’re stubborn and rock-headed and getting you to listen is often the most frustrating part of my day.

But I wouldn’t trade a second of it.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the things I hope to teach you.

1) Life can be unfair. There will be bullies that will tease you because you are different from them. People will be mean and sometimes they will hurt your feelings. There’s not much you can about it other than just ignore them. Choose your friends wisely, and if you choose the right ones, they will stand beside you through anything. Cherish those friends, stand up for them, and love them. Things will rarely go the way you plan and there will be days when you will question what the heck God is doing. Instead of letting these things break you, push through it. Accept that disappointment happens sometimes, and still chase after your dreams despite what “might” happen.

2) Love life anyway. You have one life, and just because it doesn’t go the way YOU plan, doesn’t mean it’s not going the way HE planned. Don’t hide from life because you’re scared something will go wrong. LIVE. Be open to new things, fall in love once or ten times. Get your heart broken and then fall in love again. Get married if you want to. Have children of your own if you want to. Do whatever you want to do with your life.

3) Love Jesus. This one isn’t always easy. It’s easy to love Jesus in private, but not so much in public. You don’t have to strap on an “I love Jesus” flashing button, but just show it in your actions. This is something I’m still working on teaching you now, as well as learning myself. I don’t think either of us will ever stop learning how to do this.

4) Just LOVE. If you have to live by one word, make it “love.” Love your family. Love your friends. Love your future spouse. Love your future children. Love your neighbors. Give every person you meet a smile, you never know how it could change their day. Love people even when they don’t deserve it. Love your enemies because usually it’s they who need it most. Aiden, just LOVE. That’s the best advice I can ever give you.

Aiden, I want you to always be the best YOU that you can be. Always be proud of yourself. Even if you’re different. You were created with a purpose that requires you to be unique. Be confident, but not arrogant, and be okay with failure. Failure is where you’ll learn some of the greatest lessons in life. Admit when you’re wrong, and be humble when you’re right. Be compassionate, be forgiving, be faithful, and always believe there is something so much bigger than yourself and a purpose for everything that happens. Be courageous and strong, because life is hard work but worth the effort. Be thankful for the blessings in your life, and be content with what you have. Be honest and loyal, and stand firm in your faith. Be what God intended you to be.

I am so proud of the amazing little boy you are, and cannot wait to see the wonderful man that you become. I will be here beside you, supporting you and holding your hand. I will always be your biggest fan. Know that I love you SO MUCH, and I always will. You are my sunshine, and I love you to the moon and back.

Love always,

Mommy

Like what I have to say?

DIY Melted Crayon Valentines

February 22, 2014November 7, 2015 taylorleighmcgovern3 Comments

This year was my first attempt at making Valentines for Aiden’s class, something I’ve looked forward to since he started preschool!

Not bad for my first try! 🙂

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This Little Line of Mine: What my Cesarean Taught Me.

February 5, 2014July 1, 2014 taylorleighmcgovern4 Comments

I have this little line that runs across my belly. It looks a little bit like a hockey stick, and kind of like a smile.

I resented this line for a long time. To me, it was a symbol of failure. A symbol that my body wasn’t strong enough or capable of doing what it was made to do.

It was a constant and painful reminder of one of the most vulnerable, terrifying moments in my life.

But I was wrong.

This little line saved Aiden’s life.

I had gestational diabetes, and after the first twenty-four hours of labor, my blood sugar began to spike and Aiden’s heart rate began to drop.

Cutting me open saved his life.

I had read all of the blogs and articles debating c-sections. I read opinions about how they are the WORST thing that could happen, and I read how they could be the best. I read stories from women who were traumatized and scared to ever even consider another pregnancy, and I read stories from women who were practically scheduling their next one when they were just two weeks postpartum.

I had read enough to know that I didn’t want one.

I had been pushing for what seemed like days. My OB came in to check how things were progressing and told me that Aiden’s head basically wasn’t descending the way it should be.

She said I could keep pushing, or they could go ahead and perform the emergency c-section.

27 hours into labor, and I was exhausted. I felt defeated, frustrated and I wanted nothing more than to hold my sweet boy in my arms.

I consented to the surgery and thirty minutes later, I was strapped to a gurney, scared to death something would go wrong, and anxiously awaiting that sound that every Mom wants to hear.

I could feel my OB pushing around on/in my stomach. I heard her say, “not long now!” And after an eternity of pressure, pulling, and prodding I heard those first few glorious screams from Aiden.

My OB held him over the curtain and he was the most beautiful, bloody, purple, squishy looking baby I had ever seen.

The nurses wrapped him up and brought him over to my head. My arms were still strapped, but I kissed him like crazy, tears streaming down my face.

His bio-dad was able to hold him and left me alone to take him to our families and the nursery.

As she stitched me up, I became overwhelmed with emotion. I cried and cried, and just wanted to hold my baby. I felt like a complete failure because I didn’t get to hold him instantly, I didn’t get to try and nurse him right away, and I didn’t get that instant bond that I so desperately wanted throughout those ~~nine~~ ten months.

I remember lying in the recovery room bed, exhausted, angry, and anxious to hold Aiden. “Get some rest,” they said. Yeah. Okay. I just have a giant hole in my stomach and haven’t seen my child since he was born, but sure. I’ll just take a quick little cat-nap.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, they rolled me to the room I would stay in for the rest of the week.

The nurse brought Aiden to me and I was overwhelmed with love for this tiny little human. I held him to my chest, he relaxed against my skin, and let out this little sigh. That bond I so desperately coveted was instant. All of the anger was gone. All of the frustration was gone. And all of my feelings of being a failure disappeared. I was a Mommy.

This little line IS a symbol, not of my failure, but of my courage.

This little line is a reminder of the sacrifice that I made and the bravery that I had that night.

This little line is there to help me remember all of the emotions that I felt as I looked into my sweet boy’s eyes for the first time.

This little line is there because I created an entire human being within my body.

This little line is there to remind me of the unconditional love I have for that little human being, who is now a brilliant, independent, and beautiful little boy.

This little line is so much more than just a scar.

Like what I have to say?

11 Things Moms Should NEVER Say.

January 26, 2014June 12, 2014 taylorleighmcgovern13 Comments

I have a million things going through my head this week and feel like I may EXPLODE if I don’t do some blog-venting.

In the three and a half short (long) years that I have been known as “Mommy,” my role has changed about five times.

First, I was a teen mom. (Not to be confused with one of those girls on MTV.)

Second, I was a kinda-sorta-stay-at-home-mom-full-time-student. (Yeah, it was as exhausting as it sounds.)

Third, I became a single-working-full-time-student-Mom. (Also exhausting.)

Fourth, I became a non-single-almost-married-full-time-working-mom. (Still exhausting, but what part of parenting isn’t? It’s all worth it.)

Now, I’m a stay-at-home-Mom-and-wife. (And I am soooo thankful that I’m able to do so.)

I’ve been pretty much every type of mom there is at least once, so maybe that’s why I really, REALLY hate the so-called “Mommy-Wars” that exist between all of the “sides.”

There shouldn’t even be “sides.” Just Moms.

The SAHMs think the working moms choose to be away from their kids, the working moms think the SAHMs are lazy and sit around eating bonbons and watching shows on Netflix all day.

The crunchy moms think the silky moms are killing their children slowly with cow’s milk and crying it out, and the silky moms think the crunchy moms are just a bunch of hippies who walk around with their amber necklaces and milk-filled breasts preaching about knowing better and doing better.

Moms with more than one child think that moms with only one have it so easy, and moms with one think the moms with many are being overly dramatic because it can’t possibly be that hard, right? The Duggar’s have 19. They survived.

Me? I float around somewhere in the middle of each of these. I cannot stand to see a mom put another mom down because she is choosing to parent a different way.

Here are eleven Mommy-War comments that I’ve personally heard a mom say to another mom, and sometimes to me!

1) You’re not breastfeeding? You know how bad formula is, right? (Breast is best, sure. But it’s not always the BEST option for every mom.)

2) He sleeps in your bed? How do you and your Husband/Partner ever have sex?! (None of your damn business, that’s how.)

3) You circumcised him? How could you mutilate your perfect little boy like that? (Again, it’s not your business, so don’t ask.)

4) You DIDN’T circumcise him? Imagine how he’s going to feel in that locker room in fifteen years! (See number 3.)

5) You let her cry it out? Do you know how emotionally abusive that is to your baby? How will she know you love her? (CIO, when done the right way, helps some moms/babies establish a normal sleeping pattern. It’s not for everyone, and it’s not your business.)

6) You’re going back to work? Do you WANT to miss all of her biggest milestones? (Thanks for the salt in the wound.)

7) You’re a stay-at-home Mom? So what do you do all day? (Let me stop doing what I do for a week and show you.)

8) You’re a single mom? Why did you even have kids of you weren’t going to stay married/together? (Yes, someone really asked me that. Because clearly I PLANNED on becoming a single mom at 20.)

9) You’re a silky mom? So you knowingly let your kid(s) have cow’s milk/fruit juice/produce from WAL-MART? (God forbid he have those Walmart-apples.)

10) You’re home schooling? So you know your kid is going to be an introvert/weirdo right? (Or possibly brilliant from the one-on-one.)

11) PUBLIC SCHOOL? Do you want him to SURVIVE until eighteen? (I mean, algebra is hard…but not lethal.)

WHY do we as moms feel the need to belittle other moms for doing things differently? WHY is our way the only way?

WHY can’t we just end these Mommy-Wars and get back to raising all of our happy and healthy children?

Mean Mommy.

December 5, 2013March 8, 2014 taylorleighmcgovern2 Comments

I was a mean Mommy today.

I was lacking sleep after patrolling for the boogeyman for a few hours in the middle of the night, lacking caffeine thanks to having not gone grocery shopping yet, and most of all lacking patience from all of the above.

My sweet little baby boy is growing into this sassy, opinionated, little man who is capable of thinking for himself and I’m just not ready for it. Every other word out of his mouth is now, “Why?” Somewhere around the 72nd time that word left his lips before 10:00am, this particular time as he followed me into the bathroom, “Mommy, why can’t I have some cookies for breakfast right NOW!?!” I snapped.

“ARRRGHGHHGHHHHHH, just go to your room and let Mommy have five minutes of PEACE!”

Of course, it was much louder and angrier than my writing portrays it. And, of course, it shocked him enough to make him retreat to his room, and to make me feel like the worst mother in the entire world. Instead of following him, and smothering him with hugs, love, and kisses like I wanted to, I sat in the bathroom for a few moments and cried while praying for someone up there to hand me some more patience.

Being a mom is overwhelming.

I was forced into teenage motherhood after a few stupid decisions I made at nineteen. I chose to keep the baby instantly (BEST decision I’ve ever made), and the moment the word “pregnant” popped up on that test, I became a mom. I loved the little life growing within me, even though at that moment, he was only the size of a tadpole.

That was the EASIEST decision I have had to make since then. Cloth diaper or disposable? Breastmilk or formula? Circumcision or intactivism? Spanking or time-outs? Or both? What if neither work? Stay with my five month old’s biological father, even though we detest one another? Or end it, and become a single mom at twenty? Start dating? What if he dumps me and Aiden gets hurt? Should I let him meet Aiden? When? Will this guy be a good stepdad? How can I be sure?

And every decision I have made has been scrutinized that much more BECAUSE I’m so young.

So, at first I was terrified to even write this post, because I’m sure it will be criticized. But for any moms out there who snap from time-to-time:

YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE.

I took a deep breath and walked to Aiden’s room, prepared to smother him in kisses, apologies, and cookies to hopefully make up for what I was sure to be the hot, emotional mess I had created with my momentary lack of control. He ran up to me and hugged me tight as I had to fight back those stupid tears again.

“MOOOOOMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYY, I MISSED YOU!!!!!!!! Is your pee-pee empty now?”

Clearly, he was traumatized.

I told him Mommy was so sorry that she got frustrated, that I loved him very, VERY much. His response?

“But Mommy, why are you ‘fusrated’?” Oh, the irony.

A Single Star.

October 25, 2012March 8, 2014 taylorleighmcgovern10 Comments

I’m not a very open person.

Which is funny, because those who know me best know that sometimes I can be a little too open. I have to wholeheartedly trust you before I’ll disclose an OUNCE of information about my personal life. I have a lot of history. But who doesn’t? So many of things that I have gone through have just molded me into the heavily guarded person that I am today. I didn’t let people in easily before I had a second heart to worry about, and I for damn sure don’t now.

I’m working on that. And I’m working on being more open about the things that make me, me.

I’ll start by telling a story about the man who saved my life.

People often ask me about my tattoo. It’s just a simple, small, purple and blue shooting star placed on the top of my foot. I always get the “aww that’s a cute tattoo,” or “why would you get such a random tattoo?” questions.

When I was fourteen, I was a brat. I was mean to people, I was rude, I was hurting. I was just in a dark place after getting out of a “relationship” that I was too young to have been in in the first place. The ONLY person I ever confided any of this in, was this man that had been a relatively constant person in my life from age 11-12, and he was also my youth pastor.

His name was Art Lilley.

Art was the most grace-filled person I have ever met. His relationship with God was inspiring, not just to me, but to everyone he came in contact with.

When I was around sixteen, he was driving me home from our youth meeting one night. We were talking about a mission trip that I was planning to go on the following summer to a place called Camp Barnabas (that’s an entirely different, yet amazing story). Camp Barnabas was a camp solely for special needs campers and I wasn’t feeling confident enough in myself or my faith to feel prepared to go on the trip. I remember asking him, “How is it that you are so secure in your faith?”

He said, “I’m not.”

This threw me to a place of pure speechlessness, which doesn’t happen often. This man, who was the reason I had handed MY life over to Christ, was sitting here telling me that HE’S not secure in HIS faith?

He saw my confusion and continued, “Taylor-Leigh, I know that I’m going to heaven. And I know that when I get to those doors, Jesus is going to look at me and say ‘In a minute, I’m going to turn off every, single light in the world. And for every person that you have led to me, one star will light back up.’ And I want EVERY star to light up, not just a couple here and there.”

That conversation stuck with me forever. A few weeks later, Art deployed to Afghanistan. I signed up for my trip, and everything was set to go.

A month before I was to leave, I was on a bus full of children when I got the call that Art had been killed in action in Afghanistan.

That night, I was sitting on the porch swing reminiscing about the impact that this man had on my life. I remembered the night in the car, and the story that he told me. I remember looking up, and just collapsing into tears.

Every single star in the sky was shining more brightly than I had ever seen in my life.

One of those stars, was me.

And now I have the permanent reminder of this man who saved me in the form of a simple, small, purple and blue shooting star placed on the top of my foot.

So that’s the story of my cute, random little tattoo. It’s so simple, but reminds me of where I’ve been, how far I’ve come, to be humble, and to be grateful.

Rookie Mom Confessions.

October 2, 2012June 12, 2014 taylorleighmcgovernLeave a comment

When you become a new mom, you really don’t have the slightest idea exactly how hard it is going to be to be responsible for this little, tiny, helpless, screaming, non-sleeping, anti-latching, infant. Sometimes it can get overwhelming, and you feel like you are completely alone.

When Aiden was first born, I realized within a week that I was in way over my head. Luckily, I had a good support system in my family, and in his paternal grandparents.

Regardless, everyone reaches their breaking point sometimes. A young mother in the facebook group that I help run made a FANTASTIC suggestion when I asked for opinions for my next blog entry. Rookie Mom Confessions. Obviously. Hence the title.

I felt like it was a fantastic idea, since most of my readers are young or new moms. I asked my friends and followers to anonymously email or message me what they thought were some of the most awful, horrendous, and shocking things that they have done since becoming mothers. I chose ten of the most intense confessions I received, but I’ve also mixed in one of my own, didn’t want to be excluded in a chance to get something off my chest!

1) i sometimes let my kid play in his room while i sleep an extra hour, hes fine, its childproof and hes gated in, but i still feel guilty. but i am utterly and completely exhausted.

[It’s not like you duct taped him to a wall. He was safe, not crying or anything-I assume-and if he was playing happily, I don’t really see anything wrong here.]

2) When I get overwhelmed, I send myself to my room. Kids bang on the door and I tell them I can’t come out and they can’t come in until the timer goes off because Mommy is in trouble and needs a time-out.

[Mommy time-outs can be a good thing. Personally, mine is running on the treadmill with my “angry-girl” music playing after my son is in bed.]

3) My number one reason for not wanting to have a third baby is that I pee my pants pretty much every day since my second was born two years ago. At this rate, my kids will soon be more potty-trained than I am.

[Ok, I laughed so hard after reading this that I almost peed myself, ironically. Everyone knows having a baby screws with your body, inside and out. They just don’t always warn you about the after-effects of pregnancy. One word- KEGELS.]

4) I let my kids stay home from school sometimes just because. We all need mental breaks.

[Mom of the Year. I had to be bleeding or basically dying to stay home from school just because. Again, I see no problem with this!]

5) i put my son in his high chair in front of the tv and turned on disney one day last week just so that i could take a shower.

[Showers are good. So is Disney. As long as he was safe, and it wasn’t like a 30-60 minute shower, I say bathe away!]

6) I always find myself being a MUCH better Mommy after a couple of glasses of wine.

[Who isn’t? Just make sure your definition of “couple” is 1-2, and not 5-6. There’s relaxed, and then there’s alcoholic. Also, I would recommend having someone else in the house adult-wise. No judgement, just saying.]

7) I left my 1.5 year old in his crib crying and walked outside for a smoke so that i wouldnt scream at him. sometimes doing this alone overwhelms me.

[Um, this will probably get some harsh words, but whatever. Sometimes, you need a break. The crib is the safest place for a small child to be after Mommy’s arms, and I commend you for being able to know when to step away and regain your composure.]

8) My daughter’s grandmother, my mom, tried to convince me for the first 3 months of my pregnancy to have an abortion because I was so young. I’m pro-choice but I could never go through with it myself. She loves her granddaughter more than anything now but I still pray every day that she will never find out that her Grandmother didn’t want me to have her.

[That is intense. Someone very close to me went through something very similar. Almost exactly the same situation actually. It’s hard, but forgive your Mom. She only thought she was doing what was best for you, and I’m sure that now she regrets it after growing to love your daughter.]

9) the only reason i havent left my husband (who has cheated on me with half the vaginas in his office) is because i dont want to raise my children in poverty, and have no education since i dropped out of college to be an army wife.

[There are SO MANY options for you that don’t involve staying with an asshole because you feel like you have to. Trust me. Yes, you’ll have to give up your lifestyle and “stuff” that you may be living with now, but keeping your kids in an unstable and unhappy environment will be worse for them in the long run.]

10) I cried the first time my son cried inconsolably because I felt like a failure and wonder why God would ever let me be a mom.

[Bless your heart. This one absolutely broke my heart, I think because it happens to EVERY MOTHER. I will be the first to admit that I have cried just as hard as he does before. Especially when he was still little bitty and couldn’t tell me what he wanted. Pardon my religious-ness, but God made you that little boy’s mother for a reason. You are NOT a failure. Sometimes babies just cry. And no matter how much it sucks, sometimes you have to let them. That doesn’t make you a horrible mom, it makes you human.]

As mother’s, we’re expected to be perfect examples for our children and families. That’s seldom the case. Even the very best mothers make mistakes sometimes. Again, we’re all human!